Fall Break - Thoughts

There has been two people on my mind lately...to keep them exclusive lets call them U and A.

I was writing about them in my prayer journal...but because I am a part of this techno savy culture I felt more comfortable in writing this on my blog.

Coming into this new season of change I can't help to noticed my distance between U and A. And I know that I played a role to why this has happened. I always seem to be so busy that I put all my relationships on pause...which is something that I have been working on.

And at the sametime I know U and A are also busy with their lives. U is a working mother and A is in school and seem to be busying herself with work, choir, and bookclub. We all are busy...can't expect much...but of course I miss them.

I miss the conversations that I shared with these two individually and the conversations we three have together.

I admit that I am a little worry about my relationship with A...it feels like lately our relationship has been (kind of) unstable. But neither of us know what the problem is or is this what God wants?

I am a little worry about U because my thoughts about her lately always seem to trouble me. I sense that she might be going through her own personal battles...only God knows what it is. Or POSSIBLY (just possibly) she is upset with me because I emailed her back after 2 months (I don't blame her if she is) (I am still so sorry about that!)

My biggest worry is...what if this is the end of my relationship with both of them? Maybe this is the season to move on...

....at the sametime I don't believe it is.

There are still so many things I know I can receive from U...her mentorship and her insights are still so important to me.
I still value my relationship with U...she has always been one of my closest friend...I just don't see it ending this way...but I see that there is a lot of things that needs to be change too in our relationship.
Whatever it is...I will keep it in prayer.

My God,
I thank you for blessing me with good relationships in my life. I know that I don't always appreciate them and I do take them for granted sometimes but God I ask that you will forgive me for my ways. I pray God whatever you are doing in this season in my life, in U's life, and in A's life...I ask that you will ultimately be glorified. I pray God that you will bless U as a mother. I pray that whatever she needs in her life that you may provide and be her comfort in times of confusion...in times when she just don't know anymore. Help her to fully transition herself from her old self to a mother. I pray God that you will continue to put purpose and meaning in her life that glorifies you. Pray that you will bless her marriage...I pray that you will bless her relationship with you God..draw her closer through faith and through your amazing love. Pray that you bless her on her job...whatever circumstances she may find herself the good and the bad I pray that you give her the power to look beyond the flaws of her coworker and to have love in her spirit that only comes from you. When she looks at this world and all she sees is negativity and evil I pray that you may help her keep her eyes on you and know that YOU are good and to cast all her burdens on you. I ask that you bless her with JOY and peace. In Jesus Name.
I ask God whatever you may be doing in A's life...I ask also that you may be glorified in her life. I pray that she will not get distracted by the world...by the demand of this world from school and from work but she will put you first above all things. I pray for her and myself that we give you our BEST. God I admit that I don't understand where our relationship is going but I pray that you may lead. I pray God that you nay have your way on our relationship. If it is time to let go have your way...if you me to do something different have your way. Help me to be still and allow you to lead. 
I pray God in this season that whatever you are doing in her life that you will be glorified. I pray God whatever you want to change in her life she will allow you to do it. She will open her heart to you and allow you to do a NEW thing. My God I ask that you bless my beloved sister with true joy and peace. I pray that the relationships in her life that does not bring you glory or people in her life that doesn't have the best intention for her will be far from her. I ask that you bless her in her education and bless her with more than she ever expected from her life. Bless her with success and the mind to work hard and to be taught. In Jesus Name.
God, in my life I ask that you will have all of me. God the material blessings in this life will not satisfied me. Having a boyfriend, an education, good friends...are not enough for me. I need more of you Jesus in my life...I need you so much more....my family needs you....my soul needs you. God I ask that you will fill me up with your spirit and your love. Help me to follow hard after you. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Courage Man

When you look at yourself what do you see?

I see a successful woman.
I see a young lady with true joy.
I see a young lady with peace.
I see intelligence.
I see wisdom.
I see integrity.
I see leadership.
I see beauty.
I see happiness.
I see her outgoing.
I see her traveling.
I see her doing big things.

Can you see her loving?

I see her forgiving.
I see her giving her time, her resource, her love.
I see her confident in God.
I see her trusting God.
I see her with kids one day...I see her teaching them about God...I see her loving them with her whole heart....I see her teaching her daughter how to carry herself...teaching her how beautiful and worthy she is...I see her possibly having a son..having a great relationship with him...they will talk about everything from school to relationships to books to sports....she might not be into sports but for his sake she's gonna learn...there will be time he will be frustrated with God and she will guide him back to Jesus...God will bless her family...God will bless her parents...they are going to live in a big house one day...God is going to bless her financially so she can send her parents to Paris and Japan.

God is going to do a new thing in her.
God has so much in store for her....“Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him. 

Today I hope Mandy knows how love she is by the most High by the KING of glory. I hope she knows that she is worth it. I hope she knows that she will graduate Holy Cross...I hope she knows that she is special and beautiful inside and out. I hope she knows that she never have to be like anyone else that she can be her because there is no one else like her. I hope she knows that she is never alone and that she is blessed with friends, family, and mentors that cares about her.

I hope she knows and be ready to receive all the blessing God has for her.
I hope she is drownnnnnnnnnnnnn in His love. I know she is desperate for it. I know for so long she been trying to find it on her own...I know for so long she been trying to figure out is this true. I pray that the revelation would be today that she know she is loved....I hope she will come to love God more...love Him recklessly.
I hope she doesnt try to figure everything out but just let the Almighty lead her.



Father God..I pray for my sister Mandy Lam. I pray today God that your will may be done in her. I pray that all you have in store for her will come to past. I pray that you will deliver her from the blood issues in her life and that you may be glorified. I pray that you will help her graduate college not just make it but with excellency, you said we are more than just conquerers. I pray that you will teach her how to love..not only you but learn to love your people. Learn to love even those who she finds uncomfortable to be around...esp those who is challenging to love...teach her to love without asking for anything back. I pray you take her into new experiences and new places so you can open up her eyes to see new wonders and beauty that you have created...not superficially but to see it even in the ugliness of it all. Make her into a warrior today...to fight the good fight of faith and claim back everything the enemy stole from her. In Jesus Name. Amen.