The Simple Things in Life.

I was ironing a shirt that I am going to wear tomorrow (or today) for church. I am still pretty new to this ironing thing! This is what college does to you...it changes you slowly...forcing you to learn new basic skills in life. I was having some troubles with the sleeves so I asked my mom for help.
She showed me how to do the sleeves and looked at the shirt and decided to RE-IRON the whole shirt in the end. I told her she didnt have to but she said she already started...so why not.
As I am watching her iron my shirt and complaining how tired she is because she was working in the garden all day. I just thought about such an amazing love and how blessed am I to have parents that cares so much about me.
I thank God for all that He have done.
I just looked at my mom and thought....nothing else matters but this moment.

- Courage Man

Changing Sceneries

Going into my sophomore year of college there are somethings I realize: time is going by fast and not only that but even things are changing rapidly.

I was going through a teacher/mentor's blog post from a few years ago when she still taught at JQUS.
I just thought how much things have changed since then.
She just recently had a baby and started her own family.
I, on the other hand am also not the same Courage Man as I was 3 years ago.
I am no longer a high school student. No longer wrestling with the same situations I was 3 years ago.
Though the bond between my mentor and I will always be there but the relationship we have as mentor/mentees/friends are certainty not like how it use to be due to the circumstances and our different paths in life.
I thought also deeper into my past to another mentor that helped me to become the person that I am today.
He is now a headmaster at Watertown. I thought for old time sake I emailed him to see how he's been doing. Still no response from him though I see him on fb all the time! But I am not offended and I understand that he has a family and a life to live than entertaining an ex student.
The funny thing is how both of my beloved mentors left the school (and my life) the same year. (Junior year)
I found myself having no one to lean on during my senior year. It was hard, I admit. There were times where I was struggling and I had no one to turn to for advice or guidance.
I can't blame God for depriving me of good influences in my life. But I do admit that there were times I wonder why God did that. Did God place them in my life in my time of need then think I am ready to go solo? Did I fail to recognize new mentors He was trying to place in my life? I don't know.
What I do know is God still never failed me.
And after these wonderful people slowly start drifting away from my life, I learned instead of learning about life and my spirituality from these wonderful mentors...I had to go discover it myself.
I had to go out and learned to fall and pick myself back up with the help of God.
I had to learn to solely lean on Jesus in my time of need. Instead of running to one of them for advice or for comfort...I learned to find rest in Him.
I learn ALSO from my SAD SAD mistakes that I made.
I can't say the journey has been easy, most of the time it have been bittersweet. But I won't exchange my experience, my downfalls, my joy, or my discoveries for any other paths...because this is the road God has planned for me to walk. And I will continue to walk in confidence through the valleys, wilderness, deserts until I finally reach my destination...until I walk into my blessings.
I have to admit there were times I was frustrated with God because Pastor always reminded us that we need mentors in our lives to help us and that was the only way we learn (mistakes and mentors).
And I was frustrated with God and myself because I felt like I didnt have any mentors ever since the ones I did have left.
But I learned also that my ways are not God's way. I was too ignorant, stubborn and prideful to discern or appreciate the people/teachers He place in my life to help me grow. Not every mentor and person He sends in my life will I get along with but through them is where I can learn the biggest lessons.
Ever since I realize that, it became my biggest regret as a first year student at Holy Cross. There was this professor I had that I couldn't stand. Honestly I still think she is crazy in someways but when I look back now all the things she accused me of in my papers and as a person... it was true in some ways and she was right. I wish I had the humility before to accept what she said instead of going back to my room and vent to my roommate and friends. And still didn't change my ways.
But I thank God for second chances and for new opportunities.

God help me please as I enter my second year at Holy Cross. I ask that you will help me to do things differently this year. Change my behavior and how I approach people and situations that comes about. Help me to be more open minded about people who may be different from me. Help me to not come quickly to a conclusion about myself, about people, or about the circumstances but help me to search deeper... God I thank you for your mercy that keeps me...I ask you to give me the spirit of humility to be taught and chastised. I ask that you may give me a teachable spirit so that I can be mold and shape by the people you have place in my life to bless me. Bless me with new mentors in my life that will help me along the way. Help me also to recognize them. Lord I love you and I thank you for never forsaking me despite of who I am. I ask you to keep me on this journey with you...bless me in areas that I may be broken in. Give me more joy, love, friends, and a positive attitude. Deliver me from my strongholds and insecurities. Everything that I may be withholding from you Jesus, show me. So that I may be able to surrender my all to you once again. Jesus I know as long as I live this will be a cycle and a process. Like the Desert Song said..."I know I'm filled to be emptied again...The seed I've received I will sow."
I am trying to learn more about myself and who I am in you. I am trying to learn how to please you. I am learning to love you more than I did last year. I am learning to diligently seek you in everything. God every worry that I have about my future...about what is coming ahead help me to trust you and give me the wisdom that I need to make the right choices and do the right thing that glorifies you. I need your wisdom today.
In Jesus Name, Amen.

- Courage Man

Love

Long ago during my freshman year we read The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo. I thought it was such an amazing book and I attempted to read another book by him but I somehow I was not driven to finish it.
I decided to spend my day at the library today and rediscover Paulo Coehlo books! I have been reading C.S. Lewis's book, The Screwtape Letter and I wanted another book that will inspire me as a christian.
I never knew Paulo Coelho believed in God and when I went into his aisle in the fiction section of the library.
I picked up a book, By The River Of Piedra I Sat Down and Wept, that spoke out to me! It was like if he had intentionally written this book about MY LIFE. The protagonist was a girl who is independent & practical yet restless young woman who is in college and searching for a greater meaning for her life. She falls in love and gets her heart broken, she is scare to suffer...but along the way she discover what is love..which is God.
That is only a combination of the preview that was written for the book and what I have read so far.
I am half way done but this book blows my mind. The protagonist reminds me so much of myself. She is practical, her only focus was school, she guards all her emotions not allowing anyone in, she has been hurt and scare to allow that to happen again. So has so many questions but yet have no answers or directions.
I usually don't like to read introductions. But Paulo Coelho is a GIFTED WRITER. His introduction gave me goosebumps, it made my heart race, and it made me want to breakdown. Everything he said in his introduction was all the answers I been trying to unravel.
His introduction talked about how love was the most important thing in our spiritual walk with God. :
"But ultimately there is no good reason for our suffering, for in every love lies the seed of our growth. The more we love, the closer we come to spiritual experience. Those who are truly enlightened, those whose souls are illuminated by love, have been able to overcome all of the inhibitions and preconceptions of their era. They have been able to sing, to laugh, and to pray out loud; they have danced...They have been joyful - because those who love conquer the world and have no fear of loss. True love is an act of total surrender...To love is to be in communion with the other and to discover in that other the spark of God."

Sorry the need of a prayer came through after I quoted Coelho.

Lord help me to encounter your sweet and miraculous love for me each and everyday. Let it be reflected with the people I come encounter with everyday weather it is the coworkers I work with, friends that I may not be close to, or just my family members. I want to love COURAGEOUSLY and boldly with no fear of being let down...with no fear of being taken advantage love because great is HE that lives within me. God you're love and everything wrap into one. Love begins and end with you. I am able to love because you have loved me first. I am able to love because love bare all things...because love was the cross where you died for me. God there is no fear in true love. If true love is an act of total surrender well God I surrender everything to you! I surrender my broken heart and my dreams for the exchange of your glorious love. Your love keeps me...help me when I am in my lowest...in my family...in my education...in my relationships... and in my spirit God remind me and SHOW me your love. Guilt can't break true love. Shame can't break true love. Mistakes can't break true love. Brokenness can't break true love...if anything God all these elements only brings me closer to you.  I use to think that I was in love with this certain person but I was foolish to forget that love begins with you God. If a guy can't find my way to my heart through you...if he is not like what Coelho said, "to discover in the spark of God" if I can't find God in him, if he can't draw me closer to you and if he can't help me to fall MORE in love with you God. Then I don't want it. I don't want him. I want what you have ordained. I want God holiness. I want God for you to be the center of my joy in a real relationship. Lord I ask you today to forgive me for who I am. For the way I try to seek others in my weakness. For the way I rebel against you. For the way I over-think and I allow my emotion to get the better of me. For all that I am...I ask you Jesus to forgive me and wrap me in your love. An outpour of your spirit, anointing, and your incredible love...so I may love you even more. So I may love others courageously and boldly with no fear. God help me to be meek because love don't always have to be loud. Help me to love through my actions and through the simplest things...a smile...a gesture...or serving. Help me to be patient with people who easily gets on my nerve. I bind every spirit that are not of you. The Blood of Jesus. I come against Satan's lies. The Blood of Jesus against him. God thank you.
In Jesus Name, Amen.

--------
I did not intend for a prayer to be written but I was draw to do so. I did not intend for this post to turn out like this. There was so much other things I wanted to write about the book, about my life, and about love...but I feel like the prayer said what it needed to be said. So on that note.
Have a blessed night to my nonexistent readers. :)
May God's love overpowers you and inundate your soul whoever read this post.

- Courage Man

Powerful Story

A powerful story I found as I was spending some time with the word.

Jesus Is in the House

Once there was this very wealthy young man. He lived in a great, elaborate house with dozens of rooms. Each room was more comfortable and more beautiful than the one before it. There were paintings and sculptures. Crystal chandeliers, golden ornate railings on the stairs. More beauty than most have ever seen. One day he decided to invite the Lord to come home and stay with him. When the Lord arrived, this young man offered him the very best room in the house.

The room was upstairs and at the end of the hall. This room is yours, Jesus! Stay as long as you like and you can do whatever you want to in this room, remember Jesus, its all yours.” That evening after he had retired for the night there came a loud knocking at the front door. The young man put on his robe and made his way downstairs. When he opened the door he found that the devil had sent three of his demons to attack the man. He quickly tried to close the door but one of the demons kept sticking his foot in.
Sometime later, after a great struggle, he managed to slam the door shut and returned to his room totally exhausted.

Can you believe that,” the man thought. Jesus is upstairs in my very best room sleeping while I am down here battling demons. Oh, well, maybe he just didn’t hear. He slept fitfully that night. The next day things went along as normal and, being tired as he was, the young man retired early that evening. Along about midnight, there came such a terrible ruckus at the front door that the young man was sure that whatever it was would tear the door down. He stumbled down the stairs once again and opened the door to find there were dozens of demons now trying to get into his beautiful home.

For more than three hours he fought and struggled against the demons from hell, and finally overtook them enough to shut the door against their attack. All energy seemed to fail him. He really didn’t understand this at all. Why won’t the Lord come to my rescue? Why does he allow me to fight all by myself? I feel so alone. Troubled, he found his way to the sofa and fell into a restless sleep.

The next morning he decided to inquire of the Lord about the happenings of the last two evenings. Quietly he made his way to the elegant bedroom where he had left Jesus. “Jesus,” he called as he tapped at the door. “Lord, I don’t understand what is happening. For the last two nights I have had to fight the demons away from my door while you laid up here sleeping. Don’t you care about me? Did I not give you the very best room in the house?” He
could see the tears building in Jesus’ eyes but continued on, “I just don’t understand, I really thought that once I invited you in to live with me that you would take care of me and I gave you the best room in my house and everything. What more can I do?”

“My precious child,” Jesus spoke so softly. “I do love and care for you. I protect all that you have released into my care. But, when you invited me to come here and stay, you brought me to this lovely room and you shut the door to the rest of your house. I am Lord of this room but I am not Master of this house. I have protected this room and no demon may enter here.”

“Oh, Lord, please forgive me. Take all of my house — it is yours. I am so sorry that I never offered you all to begin with. I want you to have control of everything.” With this he flung open the bedroom door and knelt at Jesus’ feet. “Please forgive me Lord for being so selfish.” Jesus smiled and told him that He had already forgiven him and that He would take care of things from now on.

That night as the young man prepared for bed, he thought “I wonder if those demons will return, I am so tired of fighting them each and every night”. But, he knew that Jesus said that he would take care of things from now on. Along about midnight the banging on the door was frightening. The young man slipped out of his room in time to see Jesus going down the stairs. He watched in awe as Jesus swung open the door, no need to be afraid. Satan stood at the door, this time demanding to be let in. “What do you want, Satan?” the Lord asked. The devil bowed low in the presence of the Lord, “So sorry, I seem to have gotten the wrong address.” And with that, he and the demons all ran away.

Author Unknown

http://www.lorilaws.net/2012/07/jesus-is-in-the-house-2/

- Courage Man

My Mentor C.S. Lewis

There is something about this man...his biography..his work...and his advice all speaks out to me.
So here is an article I found on C.S. Lewis's 8 Writing Tips advice to a schoolgirl.

8 Writing Tips from C.S. Lewis

by DONALD L. HUGHES

In 1959 an American schoolgirl wrote to C. S. Lewis asking him for advice on the craft of writing. He sent her a list of eight rules, and I add my own editorial comments to each of them.

1. Turn off the radio.

Today, writers also need to turn off the TV, the iPod or the music streaming over the Internet. I know that some writers claim that background  sounds enhances their creativity, but I don’t believe it for a minute, and apparently Lewis didn’t either. Writing is a solitary activity, where words are formed in a special space of the brain, and anything that competes for that space will result in a decrease in writing quality. Good writers are able to be alone with their thoughts and don’t need filler or distractions.

2. Read good books and avoid most magazines.

If you’re interested in writing good books then you need to read good books. Feed your mind with quality material and you will be more likely to be able to reproduce it. It is very difficult to find good Christian writing today; top selling books like The Shack are inferior in literary quality, so writers end up being torn between producing something good or something that sells well. Ideally, you will want to write something of literary quality that will be popular, and a path to that goal is reading quality books.  Style is important and it is best absorbed though books that have stood the test of time. The writings of C.S. Lewis are a good place to begin reading.

3. Write with the ear, not the eye. Make every sentence sound good.

This is Lewis’ most important rule in my view. There is a cadence to good writing and it is important that you discover it for yourself. This, of course, is another good reason for shutting off the radio, TV or music as you write. Experienced writers know that all sentences do not sound good in the beginning. It is best to get thoughts on paper first and then come back to the draft and tune each sentence.

4. Write only about things that interest you. If you have no interests, you won’t ever be a writer.

There is genius in these words. Too many Christian writers compose their literary work out of a sense of divine obligation, a quest for profit or a deadline–rather than pure godly passion.  Obligation, profit or a deadline often debase passion, but of course it is nice when all three elements can be combined. Sacrifice them all if you must–except for your passion for those things which interest.

5. Be clear. Remember that readers can’t know your mind. Don’t forget to tell them exactly what they need to know to understand you.

In all my teaching and conference work, I emphasize clarity above all things to embryonic writers. There is a direct connection between clarity, elegance and quality in writing, so clarity is always the first goal.

6. Save odds and ends of writing attempts, because you may be able to use them later.

Everything is made out of something. That’s why it is so important for writers to keep a journal.  It is easy to forget thoughts, story ideas, snippets of conversations, events and experiences, so a journal is essential. Most writers have writing fragments–false starts, incomplete manuscripts or unsuccessful submissions–and Lewis is reminding us to save all these things and to use them as resources for other writing projects. I have so many odds and ends of writing that I store them in large plastic bins from Wal-Mart. This article was written from a fragment I first put in my file in 1997.

7. You need a well-trained sense of word-rhythm, and the noise of a typewriter will interfere.

Lewis emphasizes the importance of the cadence of the words again here, and it is a point well taken. Of all his suggestions, however, this one is perhaps the most outdated. Computer keyboards are far quieter than the clickity-clack of old typewriters.  I use many different methods to get my thoughts on paper, but when I want to do my best work I always revert to writing in longhand on yellow legal pads. I think C.S. Lewis probably smiles on those who connect the mind and the hand to the written word in such an elemental way. That’s the way he did it and he came up with some pretty good books.

8. Know the meaning of every word you use.

Make a hobby us learning new words and using them in your writing. The purpose is not to be circumlocutious, but to be able to communicate aptly. A wide vocabulary adds substance to your writing. Some writers use words with which they have only glancing familiarity. Be sure you completely understand the meaning of every word you use. A fat dictionary is a good thing for a writer to own, but for efficiency you may wish to type this into the Google search box– define: circumlocution — in just that format. You will get the definition for any word you input after the colon.

Writing is a craft. You start as a novice before you become an apprentice and then develop into a master like C.S. Lewis.  Since writing is a craft, not a gift, virtually anyone can acquire the skill and become a master over time. Remember, however, that the time must be invested in actually writing (not thinking about writing) and in reading the work of those who have mastered the craft.

http://www.christianwritingtoday.com/2010/04/7-writing-tips-from-c-s-lewis/

- Courage Man

Faith

I know this season God is requiring more of me. More of my time, submission, prayer, and effort.
There been too many preaching and Sunday Schools that are related to working hard, change and transformation for me to be comfortable in my ways.
I found myself even outside of church uncomfortable with the lifestyle that I am living now.
I want to know my purpose. Because I believe my purpose is more than just sitting around the house waiting for school to begin. I believe my purpose is bigger than the minimum wage job I started today. I even believe that my purpose don't begin when school starts but I can be closer to my purpose TODAY if only I change.
After our miracle prayer today, Pastor came by to talk to us and he said so many things that addressed to my life ( I know it wasnt only for me though) and it cut me.
He talked about was how the reason why we don't see any differences in some areas in our lives since we been saved is because we have not been taught in the spirit.
All the places where there are no growth in our lives may be the hinderance to why we can't be a witness. Also how you can't accept everything that happens in your life, you have to change. Change is not only for our own benefit but it is the key to touch other people lives. Because if we have no victory how can we help others?
There are so many areas in my life that I am honestly not satisfied with but I heard the Pastor said today that God gives us the anointing to change.
I heard in Sunday School on Sunday to stop thinking you're weak and to stop thinking that it is impossible. To stop playing and learn to let go.

I know that I'm not the only one at church who have had these thoughts after the teachings. What do I need to let go? What needs to be change? What habit? What people? What thing?
And all those questions can only be answer in prayer and learning to humble ourselves.

I use to think that faith means to believe in the unseen..and to be still and let God have His way knowing He will make a way somehow. But the more I walk with God I learned that faith without work is dead. So then I believed that whatever I do...if I apply to this program..to this school..I have faith in God will make a way if it is in His will.
All that is true.
But tonight I learned that faith also means to not know. To step in the unknown. God is not asking me to be still this season and wait on Him to bless me. But He is requiring me to work for my blessing...work for my deliverance...work for my fruit. It is not the same also as, "OK LORD I'm going to do this and see if this is in your will..." No. God is not asking me to walk aimlessly. But He is requiring me to really search myself...to have faith in opening some doors in my life that I am scare to face. To change in places where I am scare to change...and worry that I may fail in the process of changing.
It is stepping into the unknown and presenting myself to God and say, "Here you go God...I give myself away...every fear...failure...mistake..past...here it is. ALL OF IT. I'm ready for the surgery. I'm ready for the transformation."
Pastor said today...that when you're comfortable where you're and you think you know God that is where you're not like God. We can never be God. But when we come with a mindset saying I just don't know that is when we're like God. And it is ironic.
I admit that I found myself sometimes prideful and in false humility. Because I thought I knew what I was doing...I thought I had such a GREAT relationship with God...when in reality it is His mercy that keeps me. If it wasnt for His love, mercy, grace that kept me I wouldn't be where I am now. It has nothing to do with me! It had nothing to do with my human integrity or character. People tell me that I am very faithful. No it was all God. God was and STILL is faithful to me...and I am forever in debt for such an amazing love. I can never repay for all the wonderful things He has done for me.

I can't imagine a life without Him. I don't know how to live without Him.
And I don't want to live in the same issues that I am dealing with right now. I must change.
How?
I don't know. But I have faith in God. That He is powerful enough to transform me. And the devil is a liar for trying to convince me that I am going to be stuck in the same habits and strongholds forever. LIES.
There are going to be new challenges along the journey. But that is good news. It is evidence of growth.

- Courage Man

Soul Touching Song.

This song really touched me and I just want to worship God right there.

He'll Do It Again
Just Like Before
He'll Heal Your
Broken Heart
Your life he can restore

He'll Do It Again
Cause He's Your Best Friend
He'll Never Let You Down
He'll Never Let You Down

Chorus Repeat x10
Lord I Am
Broke and My Life
Is In Pieces but Your
Strength Is Perfect In All of My Weakness

Vamp Repeat x4
Jesus Jesus
Jesus Jesus
I'm Calling You

Repeat x4
I Know I'm Broken
but You Can Heal Me
Jesus Jesus
I'm Calling You

Bridge Repeat x2
I Might Not Be Worth Much
but I'm Still Willing
Jesus Jesus
I'm Calling You

Jesus Jesus I'm Calling You!

End He'll Do It Again
Just Like Before
He'll Heal Your Broken Heart
Your Life He Can Restore
He'll Do It Again
Cause He's Your Best Friend
He'll Never Let You Down

HE'S CALLING YOU!!!!!

- Courage Man

A beautiful post about LOVE

I love roaming through the web searching for different blogs and different websites that inspires me. (Which is why I am so in love with PINTEREST and tumblr once in a while.)
I was on a blog and I found this so deep:

Lessons My Mother Taught Me

Isn’t it funny how you resist and even resent your parents growing up, and only when you become an adult — and more so, when you become a parent yourself — that you realize how wonderful they are?

Many of my readers may already be aware that Korea has deep roots in Buddhism. When I was still living in my native country in the early 1980s, it was not unusual for Buddhist monks to go around to neighboring houses to chant prayers, and ask for donations — in the form of money or rice — in return.

(image source)

My mother raised my sister and I in the Christian Church, so I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember. Because Christianity was all I knew — because Christianity was what I felt the most comfortable with — whenever the Buddhist monks would stop by our house, I would look at them in disdain, scornfully turning my back on them.

Sometimes, my sister and I would take it a step further by loudly insulting them.

Then one day, our mother caught us throwing insults at the monks. After hushing us, she went to the kitchen, returned with a large bag of rice, and presented it to the monks.

In fact, this wasn’t the first time she gave the monks rice. My mother donated rice every time they stopped by, despite the fact that our family was pretty poor back then, nevermind her not even being Buddhist.

My mother turned to us after the monks left that day, and told us that she was disappointed. She said that just because someone is a different religion from us does not give us the right to look down on them — if anything, they should be treated with greater respect and love so that they could see the love of Jesus through our actions.

I was only 4 or 5 years old at the time, but I will never forget those words.

My mother was also the one who taught me about the importance of love. When I was younger and couldn’t quite grasp the concept of love — ‘Isn’t it just a stronger form of like?’ I believed — I asked her for clarification, and she answered:

Love is something you give away. When you give one love away, you get back two. When you give two loves away, you get back four. You can never give too much love away, because the more you give, the more you will receive in return.

Granted, only now I can see the flaw in this theory…but this is only because as humans, we are only capable of imperfect love. Real, perfect love conforms completely to this message, no?

I have stated before that I do not have many mommy friends, as most of my girlfriends are not yet married and still enjoying the single life. But ever since I became a mother myself, I have grown close to my own mom…and despite the disagreements all mothers and daughters are bound to run into, I am eternally grateful to have her in my life, and to have the opportunity to thank her for everything she’s done for me.

http://www.geekinheels.com/2011/09/14/lessons-my-mother-taught-me.html

I want to fall in love with Jesus like I never did before.
I want to love Him more today.

- Courage Man

Thoughts at 3 am

Dear God,
I saw something on tumblr today...it was a post saying are you dressing to LURE or to PURE. God I admit that sometimes my insecurities get the better hold of me. I do care how I look sometimes and yes at times I do care what people think about me. But I sit here tonight on this bed...asking you to sanctify me and to purify me..through my spirit, my heart, my mind, and my behavior.
I wear skirts not because someone told me to...not because of some doctrine. But because it was my own personal sacrifice to present myself holy and modest. I feel like lately I have forgotten the reason why I wear skirts...why I choose to dress like this.
God I don't want everyday to be a fashion show. I want the way that I dress draw people in that glorifies you and to make them wonder what is it about this God she serves.
God I want to serve you...it is not about me.
Help me to know that no matter how I look or how I may be judge or even how I see myself sometimes. God you see me as beautiful.
Beauty is not only display from the outer appearance but God you said you judge the heart.
I hope my beauty can be seen through my laughter...my smile... and through my conversations with people/friends that I may encounter.
Renew my purpose in you God. Renew my purpose in dressing the way that I do. To be holy and to be modest.
I was also reading a post about this girl who was not Apostolic but she really adored the way they present themselves. What touched me was what she said in the end:


"Personally, I think Apostolic women are some of the most beautiful women on the earth. Their complexion is wonderful, they have great style, and their inner beauty truly shows because they are modest in their outward apparel."


Though she was talking about Apostolic women overall, I felt like she was personally complimenting me. She made me felt so beautiful. And God that is what I want...I want to feel and KNOW that I am beautiful because of holiness. Not because of what a boy may tell me.

I bind any spirit of intimidation the Enemy tried to plant in me. To make me look at other people looks and be envious. Help me to look pass the outer appearance of others and myself. Help me to look at people's heart. You said also in church to look for the gifts in people and not the gifted people.
Forgive me for the way that I am...and transform me Jesus.
Be glorified in my life.

Love your daughter, Mandy

Reply to Letter 7

Letter 7

Dear God,
Help me to take one step at a time to achieve my goals. I know I am always full of ideas but I can never really tackle any of them solidly. And I come to realize because I try to do so many things at once. Help me today Jesus to be patient and to work hard. Help me to have a clearer mind and to not jump to conclusion. Help me to work out a game plan. Most especially help me to STICK to the game plan.
Thank you for giving me the mind to pray and giving me the will to write these letters to you. I hope you can hear my every prayer in heaven and I hope these letters you take into consideration in addition to my prayer.
Even reading back over this week on the previous letters I am already inspired by them. I hope whoever stumble on this blog would also too. Continue Jesus to inspire me! Be my inspiration and my motivation this summer through the valley and dead ends. Be my hope when darkness occurs.
Lord I know you're not through with me and I am aware that I'm far from perfect...but I come to realize it is my imperfection that makes me draw you closer..it is the reason why I need a God like you.
Create in me a clean heart.
Create in me new things.
Create in me laughters and smile.
Create in me love.
Today Jesus I surrender to you and ask you to have your way on my life. Guide me and instruct me.

Love your daughter, Mandy.

Plans for this week

For once I am actually really busy this whole week:

Monday: Hanging with Samantha/Job Hunting
Tuesday: Interview at Papas Gino and Prayer
Wednesday: Lunch date with Yanyi/Fireworks with Winnie
Thursday: Dimsum with Sisters from FMC
Friday: FMC July 4th Cookout
Saturday: Aurie Birthday Party
Sunday: CHURCH

I hope this week will go according to planned.

- Courage Man

Letter 6

Dear God, 
I just want to thank you for this Communion Sunday. Thank you for your blood that cleansed me and your message that you preached through the pulpit. I worship you because God you have been so good to me. Through the good and the bad you were always there.
Service was great as always but after service something happened: I felt that pang inside again...I felt that heartache when I saw a certain person. I couldnt help to feel the way that I felt. And I admit God I wanted to cry so badly. I thought that I was ok now. I thought that my heart was finally mending and I was letting go. But I realized that the aches are still there and I am far from healed. I was so tempted Jesus to run and hide somewhere and cry but I remember your message today...that it is hard to fail if you're a worshipper. I remember in sunday school when you used the sunday school teacher to teach me about suffering and surrendering. What stood out to me was the way he told us, "He loves you...I mean...He LOVES you." I remember his tone when he spoke about your love. I remember how in the morning prayer I pour myself out to you...and it was the first time I really knew how that woman with the issue of blood felt. When she said if she just get a touch from you...she knew she would be whole...and Jesus I finally FINALLY understood what she meant and how she felt. Because I knew if you just touch me...if you pour your spirit into me in that moment...I was going to be whole again. Whole doesn't mean that I have the answer to everything but its the touch from you that REASSURES me that God you're in control and you're able in my life.
So when I stood in that church parking lot...I refused to let that emotion and pain take over. I holdback my tears and I attempt to smile...cause God on this Communion Sunday you reminded and blessed me too much for me to breakdown. There are going to be times where I have to break and allow you to fix me. But Jesus you said today in church to not go in my old ways and to not wear my old filthy garment. So God I am learning to cope with my heartache in a different way today. I'm not looking for someone to lean on. I am not going to breakdown and cry and feel sorry for myself. I will fight the anger, pain, and frustration until you deliver me from it fully. I allow this certain person to take advantage of my compassion and my trust. Knowing God that you will deal with them yourself and you will bless me. (Was that sentence a fragment?) I know God that through my suffering you're doing a new thing in me though I may not fully know what you're doing I still trust you. I will go through this valley with you and I will come out of it victoriously.
Like the sunday school teaching today...help me to surrender myself to you Jesus. You said that surrendering is the hardest and it will take a lifetime to learn. Teach me and help me Lord to do so. To surrender this situation to you and allow you to heal my heart and to let you have your way. Help me to deal with this situation in a new way that will lead me into my deliverance.
Jesus I am happy today despite the heartache and my circumstances. I still have joy and I still have hope.
I am still able to love this person and everyone you have assigned to my life.
I will make it because I am a worshipper and you said that I can't fail. Taking communion today...I know that there are new opportunities ahead and I have taken off my dirty garment.
I have already begun a new path starting in the parking lot.
All I can do is by ending this letter telling you how much I love you Jesus and I know your purpose/plans are greater than what I am going through today.

Love your daughter, Mandy.