Thoughts at 3 am

Dear God,
I saw something on tumblr today...it was a post saying are you dressing to LURE or to PURE. God I admit that sometimes my insecurities get the better hold of me. I do care how I look sometimes and yes at times I do care what people think about me. But I sit here tonight on this bed...asking you to sanctify me and to purify me..through my spirit, my heart, my mind, and my behavior.
I wear skirts not because someone told me to...not because of some doctrine. But because it was my own personal sacrifice to present myself holy and modest. I feel like lately I have forgotten the reason why I wear skirts...why I choose to dress like this.
God I don't want everyday to be a fashion show. I want the way that I dress draw people in that glorifies you and to make them wonder what is it about this God she serves.
God I want to serve you...it is not about me.
Help me to know that no matter how I look or how I may be judge or even how I see myself sometimes. God you see me as beautiful.
Beauty is not only display from the outer appearance but God you said you judge the heart.
I hope my beauty can be seen through my laughter...my smile... and through my conversations with people/friends that I may encounter.
Renew my purpose in you God. Renew my purpose in dressing the way that I do. To be holy and to be modest.
I was also reading a post about this girl who was not Apostolic but she really adored the way they present themselves. What touched me was what she said in the end:


"Personally, I think Apostolic women are some of the most beautiful women on the earth. Their complexion is wonderful, they have great style, and their inner beauty truly shows because they are modest in their outward apparel."


Though she was talking about Apostolic women overall, I felt like she was personally complimenting me. She made me felt so beautiful. And God that is what I want...I want to feel and KNOW that I am beautiful because of holiness. Not because of what a boy may tell me.

I bind any spirit of intimidation the Enemy tried to plant in me. To make me look at other people looks and be envious. Help me to look pass the outer appearance of others and myself. Help me to look at people's heart. You said also in church to look for the gifts in people and not the gifted people.
Forgive me for the way that I am...and transform me Jesus.
Be glorified in my life.

Love your daughter, Mandy