Faith

I know this season God is requiring more of me. More of my time, submission, prayer, and effort.
There been too many preaching and Sunday Schools that are related to working hard, change and transformation for me to be comfortable in my ways.
I found myself even outside of church uncomfortable with the lifestyle that I am living now.
I want to know my purpose. Because I believe my purpose is more than just sitting around the house waiting for school to begin. I believe my purpose is bigger than the minimum wage job I started today. I even believe that my purpose don't begin when school starts but I can be closer to my purpose TODAY if only I change.
After our miracle prayer today, Pastor came by to talk to us and he said so many things that addressed to my life ( I know it wasnt only for me though) and it cut me.
He talked about was how the reason why we don't see any differences in some areas in our lives since we been saved is because we have not been taught in the spirit.
All the places where there are no growth in our lives may be the hinderance to why we can't be a witness. Also how you can't accept everything that happens in your life, you have to change. Change is not only for our own benefit but it is the key to touch other people lives. Because if we have no victory how can we help others?
There are so many areas in my life that I am honestly not satisfied with but I heard the Pastor said today that God gives us the anointing to change.
I heard in Sunday School on Sunday to stop thinking you're weak and to stop thinking that it is impossible. To stop playing and learn to let go.

I know that I'm not the only one at church who have had these thoughts after the teachings. What do I need to let go? What needs to be change? What habit? What people? What thing?
And all those questions can only be answer in prayer and learning to humble ourselves.

I use to think that faith means to believe in the unseen..and to be still and let God have His way knowing He will make a way somehow. But the more I walk with God I learned that faith without work is dead. So then I believed that whatever I do...if I apply to this program..to this school..I have faith in God will make a way if it is in His will.
All that is true.
But tonight I learned that faith also means to not know. To step in the unknown. God is not asking me to be still this season and wait on Him to bless me. But He is requiring me to work for my blessing...work for my deliverance...work for my fruit. It is not the same also as, "OK LORD I'm going to do this and see if this is in your will..." No. God is not asking me to walk aimlessly. But He is requiring me to really search myself...to have faith in opening some doors in my life that I am scare to face. To change in places where I am scare to change...and worry that I may fail in the process of changing.
It is stepping into the unknown and presenting myself to God and say, "Here you go God...I give myself away...every fear...failure...mistake..past...here it is. ALL OF IT. I'm ready for the surgery. I'm ready for the transformation."
Pastor said today...that when you're comfortable where you're and you think you know God that is where you're not like God. We can never be God. But when we come with a mindset saying I just don't know that is when we're like God. And it is ironic.
I admit that I found myself sometimes prideful and in false humility. Because I thought I knew what I was doing...I thought I had such a GREAT relationship with God...when in reality it is His mercy that keeps me. If it wasnt for His love, mercy, grace that kept me I wouldn't be where I am now. It has nothing to do with me! It had nothing to do with my human integrity or character. People tell me that I am very faithful. No it was all God. God was and STILL is faithful to me...and I am forever in debt for such an amazing love. I can never repay for all the wonderful things He has done for me.

I can't imagine a life without Him. I don't know how to live without Him.
And I don't want to live in the same issues that I am dealing with right now. I must change.
How?
I don't know. But I have faith in God. That He is powerful enough to transform me. And the devil is a liar for trying to convince me that I am going to be stuck in the same habits and strongholds forever. LIES.
There are going to be new challenges along the journey. But that is good news. It is evidence of growth.

- Courage Man