Since the last time I have blogged..my summer has taken an interesting turn. A very wide and rocky turn, to be exact.
I am moving back to school in one day, so these last 16 days been work, church, and seeing a LOT of people. I been so caught up in some moments that my prayer life, I must admit, has been unstable.
I must also admit that these last 16 days I have done things that I was not proud of. I have fell into the most ridiculous places. Fell into a temp infatuation with a boy. Have still yet packed for Holy Cross....
Couple of hours ago I was overwhelmed, sad, stress, and broken.
I knew the Holy Ghost was telling me to pray and to talk to the Lord.
But all I wanted to do was dwell in the situation and be angry with myself. But I thank God for His mercy and for giving me the mind to open my bible to Psalm 69. After I finish reading it...I was led to my prayer alter in my closet and on my knees once again...crying out to God.
Through my tears and my prayer...I found my desire for God once again...I mean for ONLY God.
To fall more in love with Him than anyone one/friend/or boy.
When you call out His name from your heart and from the depth of your soul...somehow everything fades away. The pain...the circumstances...the mistakes...the people...nothing else matter anymore at that moment..but being with God...praising His name...thanking Him...making your request known to Him...allowing Him to listen to your heart....listen to your request through the Hallelujahs and Thank You Jesus. He hears what you need in between the breaths that you take from calling His name.
I believe and I know...no matter where I am...how I fell...what I did...God is able to still pick me back up. God still loves me..and it is not over. If anything He can use the circumstances and the failures to glorify Himself...to lead you into a bigger blessing.
I am aware also that the Enemy attempts to take advantage of those times to hinder my relationship with God. But you must hold on and put on the whole armor of God. Nothing can take me away from Jesus. He is for me. He is mine. The Blood of Jesus against the lies, deceptions, and the traps. The Blood of Jesus against Satan.
As I was praying...God placed two passages in my heart/mind:
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace. Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth BOLDLY, to make known the mystery of the gospel.
Ephesians 6:10-19
Brethen, I count not myself to have apprehended; but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before. I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore as many as be perfect be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.
Philippians 3:13-15
God is so merciful and He is able to do all things. I will keep my eyes on Him and on the prize. Keep fighting, persevere, and I will press my way through this season. Stay encourage.
I love Him so much.
- Courage Man
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