As I am writing this blogpost in the kitchen, my sister is in her room watching the Ellen Degeneres Show and my mom is in the living room catching up with her chinese dramas.
It hurts me because no matter how close my family may be, there seem to be a division.
We're so use to doing our own thing and I understand that you can't expect us to spend every moment together...I mean we already live in the same house for 10+ years! We're comfortable and we're use to it.
We're so use to doing our own thing and I understand that you can't expect us to spend every moment together...I mean we already live in the same house for 10+ years! We're comfortable and we're use to it.
I hate the reference, YOLO (you only live once) but at the sametime it is true. We only live once...and before I die and go to heaven I don't want to live with any regret that I didnt spend enough time with my family.
God forbid...I don't want to lose a immediate family member thinking about all the things we could've done together.
God forbid...I don't want to lose a immediate family member thinking about all the things we could've done together.
I feel so heavy and hurt how I treated my family. I admit, I always put them second. I always placed friends and other things before them and I thank God for a family that doesnt hold it against me. But I am holding it against myself right now.
I thought about my high school graduation how instead of going out to eat with my family after the ceremony. I decided to celebrate it with my church family...it may not seem wrong but when I look back at it...I just think, "WHO DOES THAT!?" Who just ditches their family?
This moment is one out of so many times I have done this to my family. Placing their needs and their times after everyone else.
I am sorry that it took me 19 years to realize how important family is. And how I may be a horrible sister/daughter. But I just pray God will change me to be a more loving sister and a more obedient daughter that honors my parents. Pray God will change the dynamic of my family and bring us closer.
I thought about my high school graduation how instead of going out to eat with my family after the ceremony. I decided to celebrate it with my church family...it may not seem wrong but when I look back at it...I just think, "WHO DOES THAT!?" Who just ditches their family?
This moment is one out of so many times I have done this to my family. Placing their needs and their times after everyone else.
I am sorry that it took me 19 years to realize how important family is. And how I may be a horrible sister/daughter. But I just pray God will change me to be a more loving sister and a more obedient daughter that honors my parents. Pray God will change the dynamic of my family and bring us closer.
I want to be able to love them and spend as much time as I can with them on this earth before we're all gone.
I love my family so much. And if anyone knows the real me...it would be them. They had to go through all my wrath and shortcomings...they had to suffer the consequences with the mistakes that I have made. I thank God that despite of who I am and everything that have happened that they stayed by my side and supported me in everything that I do. We may not be a perfect family or the Brady Bunch but I am forever grateful. It may sound cliche but there are some people who don't have a family...who never experience that familial love. Those who grew up without a father, a mother, or both. I'm just glad what God has given me and I just pray that He will have His way on my family. I lay it all in my Father's hand.
- Courage Man
"I hate the reference, YOLO"
ReplyDeleteinterestingly, I dislike it when people use it too.
"But I am holding it against myself right now."
Two days ago we were worshipping with over thirty youth& adult leaders at my work. During the praying session, instead of going to pray with my youth, God has placed this same thought in my mind. A sense of guilt just rushed to me and I realized how I was the only one holding it against myself. Our God is indeed a gracious and forgiving God. When I was praying for myself, He reminded me to carry on the burden no longer, instead, count my blessings for my family and yearn to do better! Guilt won't promote healthy growth, but seeking God first and setting ourselves free from our guilt does! :) We are definitely on this together. Keep praying, + oil! ^_^
"But I just pray God will change me to be a more loving sister and a more obedient daughter that honors my parents...I want to be able to love them and spend as much time as I can with them on this earth before we're all gone."
TIME = LOVE :)) Technology, being one of the biggest enemy in this era, invented to effectively connect people together, also ironically disconnect people. Sometimes we just need to take the initiative to fight against it, COURAGE MAN. :)
Thanks for sharing... keep reflecting and keep growing... in HIM!!!
Miss you! ^^