Acceptance

Term 2 has finally come to an end.

Now I can go back in posting on my blog. Ever since I committed myself for 1 week. It has really grown on me. Especially when I was so overwhelmed with work last week, reading my old posts really reminded myself to stay encourage. And I had one reader who really touched my heart with their comment about this blog. I was going to post YESTERDAY but instead I wasted my time just eating, breathing, and watching t.v. Was not a really productive Saturday and I really regretted on how I spend it when I woke up this morning. I could've done a lot of stuff, reading my bible a little bit more since the lack of time I had this whole week or worked on my scholarship which is due real soon, just something productive anything than laying in bed allllll day!

But I guess at the same time I shouldn't be so hard on myself, it has been a really stressful week I guess it was just one of those days I just don't want to do anything but chill. Hopefully that one Saturday was good enough.

What is going through my mind right now that I don't really know how to express is, Acceptance. (Not because I'm still waiting for Acceptance letters from colleges) Hopefully as I'm typing it would come to me. But I feel like no matter where you're there is a need/want to feel accepted, rather it is on your job, school, or even church. It doesn't matter if you have that "I don't need anyone" attitude, deep inside everyone wants approval and most of the time people who has that attitude is because they never felt accepted or they just want to feel better about themselves because if they already have that attitude it feels more like they chose that route.

I think that I myself somewhere in my mind have that "I don't need anyone" attitude sometimes. When I just feel rejected from the crowd, rather its from my friends that I'm close or distant to. I'm not trying to flatter myself but many of my friends would describe me as, outgoing ( thank you guys btw ) but in a way I could be really shy. I feel like sometimes I do stick out from the crowd and without knowing sometimes I do seek for acceptance and thats when I will get angry with myself because I feel like I look stupid and maybe it was just not meant to be.

But I learn that this is only what I think of myself, especially today in Sunday School and during service we were talking about how the real battle is fought in your mind.

...though I do have this feeling it doesnt mean is how I always feel. Not at all. When I look back at my life and the 2 years I have committed myself walking with Christ, I have been really blessed. I have great friends and mentors that I could always run to for guidance. People who would pray for me and people who will tell me well done even though I don't feel like I did anything right. But all that doesn't matter, the greatest joy of all is having God in my life. This is still a growing process, my mind is still developing. God knows my every thought and He sees everything and I know He is working in me. I might get back on this topic. But for now I'll be ok even if was REALLY accepted, God will always put people in your life and sometimes He wants you to be alone so you can be closer to Him.

But enough SAID...time to LIVE it!

Scripture Today from Morning Service: "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed, we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;" 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

^ So HE can be MANIFEST in us!

- Courage Man