Reflection Prayer

Lord as we come to the end of the year of 2012. I know there were many things that I did not do right this year where I have wen't my own way and some areas in my life where I have come short. But I stand before you today not dwelling on the regrets or allowing myself to be dissatisfied. Because I know and I know for a fact that your mercy and grace has ket me everyday this year. Every single day, my God you have never failed me. You have never let me down and you have never forsaken me. I know that going into the new year you are still requiring me to go higher and to accomplish those tasks that I have ignored and placed to the side. I thank you God because I have walked in this year with faith and Lord you have show me new things about You that I did not truly understood before. I learned God that all things ARE possible with you. So I just pray that as I go into the new year I will know that prayer does changes things and that MY GOD IS ABLE! You are so able Lord despite my weakness and my shortcoming. You are able to take every wrong and make it right. You are able to do the impossibles in my life. So as I go into the new year I am hoping for the impossible. I am hoping for new things in my life....relationships, success, and opportunities I was not able to hope for before. I can hope for a better lifestyle, better health, better discipline, better mindset, better EVERYTHING next year and the year after that and the year after that. I know Lord that this walk will never get easier but it will always get better and better. I just asked as I go into this new year that my heart may be right and pure. My intentions and motives may be right, let it always be on you and never on myself. I am sorry Lord for the times where I have boasted myself when ALL THE GLORY BELONGS TO YOU! I thank you God for the POWER I have in you. The POWER to overcome/fight and to press because greater is He that is in ME then he that is in the world. God you are good you are the definition and the author of good. YOU BEEN SO GOOD. And I am forever grateful. I may not have everything but God you have done more than enough for me this year and I OWE YOU ALL THE GLORY. Because I know that my character has changed...I have more success and joy than I used to. I may still be imperfect but I serve a perfect God who is BIGGER than anything, anyone, any circumstance/situation in the UNIVERSE. Father I know I have dealt with many insecurities this year but Father I know you are able to deliver and I pray for the unspeakable CONFIDENCE in YOU! To know who I am in you and to be defined by you. Not by this world, people, education, or stats. I refuse to be dissatisfied with who I am today because my God is good all the time. My worth and beauty is worth more than rubies to you. My worth was nailed to the cross...oh Lord I just thank you. I just want to pour my heart out in this prayer but there is not enough word to describe HOW AMAZING you have been. God I just hope you are please with me and forgive me for who I am. I am sorry for all I put you through and for the times this year when I felt you far and I doubted you and questioned your existence. Forgive me for those times this year when I have lost my passion and fire in my relationship with you when I got so caught up with everything around me. Lord I pray that you will always be the head of my life. I pray God that you will always be glorified. I pray that I will learn how to be meek and lowly because not everyone have to know about my business. I refuse to believe in the lies today the enemy have try to plant in my mind. Because I know all those lies..all those circumstances can be changed in PRAYER today. All I need is to be on my knees. All those lies can be exposed out of the darkness and into the light. I know and I BELIEVE JESUS! I believe in you. I trust you. I learn on you. I love you. Lord I believe. I believe. I believe. I believe. You are able. This year Lord...you been so good and I know it is still not over yet. In Jesus Name Amen.

A Prayer to Hear From God

A Writer’s Dream

by Bob Hostetler

Lord, you showed Jacob a stairway to heaven,
and spoke to Solomon in his dreams.
You gave to Joseph and Daniel
insight into the meaning of dreams,
and gave your servant Peter a transforming vision.

God of dreams and visions,
please condescend to me in my sleep,
and inspire my writing even as I sleep.
Speak to me in the night watches,
whisper in my ear,
and make me a better writer
while I rest in your arms,
in Jesus’ name, amen.

http://writingsistersblog.wordpress.com/2012/12/10/a-monday-prayer-for-gods-whispers/

- Courage Man

Lead Me To The Path of Forgiveness

About 56 mins ago it was Thanksgiving. Instead of being thankful I found myself in a moment of anger and pain.
I thought about this person who keeps constantly hurting me and unconsciously breaking my heart again and again.
But I don't know why at the end of the day as angry as I am, God has given me the heart to love them anyhow. And sometimes its not easy like tonight. I found myself upset at something really simple and it bought back all the things this person has done to me in the past. I found myself scooping and scooping back to those memories...and all I wanted to do at the moment was to be angry and plan schemes against this person to let them know how much they have hurt me.
But I don't get it.
Because I know that I am not suppose to be angry. I am not suppose to feed those thoughts or those feelings.
And I have said and told this person before that I forgive them. I forgiven them for what they have done to me. Then why do I still feel this resentment? Why do I still feel this hurt for what they have done?
I tried to google scriptures on forgiveness. The problem was I already KNEW what I need to do and I've already forgiven them but have I fully forgiven them if I still feel this pain??

I bumped into this blog where the author was talking about forgiving and how it still hurts. Her story was similar to mine but what spoke out to me was how...forgiveness is not a feeling or an emotion...or a one time thing but something we have to keep doing over and over again. In the author's word, "You may need to forgive this person everyday for a long time." And this is where I have found myself at...I don't really know what forgiveness is and there are still so much I need to learn.
How to love, to forget and to let go.
I thought at first that I have not fully forgiven this person...when really I have to allow forgiveness to heal my wounds and pain and that it is a process not a one time thing like the author said. And I can't do it on my own...I have to rely on God's strength and His might to do it. I have to know that no matter how much this person may continue to hurt me that God is going to take care of it. My schemes and revenge cannot beat God's ways.
So in the meantime as I learn how to forgive...no matter what they throw at me I will respond in love...even when it hurts so much...I will respond in love...
the old me would hate me for this because it seem like my choice to love this person after all they did to me may make me seem weak and vulnerable but like C.S. Lewis says, "To love at all is to be vulnerable." And I know when I forgive...God has forgiven me (Matthew 18:35)

- Courage Man

To read more about I've Forgiven But It Still Hurts:
http://laurablogsagain.blogspot.com/2011/06/ive-forgiven-but-it-still-hurts.html

Reasoning is not good enough.

I was walking in the religion department at school the other day going to my New Testament professor's office hour. As I was walking there was another professor who had free books laying outside their office. And as geeky as I am...I couldnt resist! I picked up a book called The Heart Of Freedom by Chai Ling. There were several reasons why I picked it up.
1. It was a chinese woman (I know shallow)
2. Her chinese name is similar to mine (Chai Ling/Tsui Ling)
3. Chinese Activist
4. How she met God

I don't see a lot of testimony or stories out there about chinese christian. And for someone who was so broken by the Tiananmen Square protest and God was able to heal her brokenness? What is there not to like!?

But a quote stood out to me in that story:

“Kneeling in front of the big mirror on the wall, I closed my eyes, pressed my hands together, and prayed, “Dear God, please help me to be an extraordinary child. Thank you!” I had never been to church, or seen a Bible, or prayed before; I had only read the word God in a foreign novel.”

—

Chai Ling It was so deep because I was in that position before. And God has heard my every prayer even when I didnt really know Him. Theres no words to describe Him. So many times this world explains for reasons to prove that there is a God. But the reasons are everywhere ! Hes over here and over there. People may ask me how can you say God is real? What prove? I am the prove. Because the joy that I have now no human couldve given it to me. Because when I was in the world looking for a friend and a family member for comfort it did not bring me this much joy that I have now. I came into the church not knowing much about God. I knew of God from my old church but never a real relationship. But when I stepped into Fellowship Mission, can someone explain to me that feeling? If everything can be explained, explain to me feelings. Like Chai Ling I knew of God from afar from what we heard and what we read and that too is enough for us to believe. God doesnt have to prove Himself to people the evidence is all around.

- Courage Man

I really don't know where the time has went. I look at my last post and I can't believe its the 20th already.  D=

- Courage Man

Reply to Merits

Stole this from a friend's facebook status that's related to my last post. Enjoy.

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. 

-Calvin Coolidge

- Courage Man

Merits

When I use to think about academic merits. I thought it only applied to those who are naturally intelligent. Yes its true that some people who can acquire skills and informations easier than others have an advantage. But academic merits also require hard work.
I went to the end of a fish bowl today about affirmative action...I thought about how amazing it is to be in a room full of students with their own opinions and their intellects. It made me feel like a true scholar being in there...as I was walking back to my room...I thought about a friend who I was talking to today.
He was somewhat gloating about how he got a 5 on his AP test and how he does so well in his classes. At that moment he made me feel like I was not smart enough. And as I was walking back to my room, I realized sometimes I really don't feel like I am smart enough nor do I have any valuable skills or gifts. I thought about the intellectuals I come encounter with, who always counter my opinions and I would be the one who forfeit the argument with my silence everytime and they take it as a victory. What I hate the most is when I come up with an argument 2 hours later after the debate.
It frustrated me because I thought to myself, "How come I can never think on the spot!?"
As I was thinking about all this walking back to my room, I thought to myself..."Well I just have to work harder and keep learning so I can be smarter so I can be at their level."
But something came over me after that thought...I am relying on my own strength.
I am not trusting God to help me through. I am not relying on Him and I trying for all the wrong reasons.
I am attempting to work hard not for His glory but for competition and because of my own insecurities.
Thinking about it now...those same thoughts were the things that led me to my failures and disappointments in high school when I didn't achieve those goals.
I always compare myself to the best demeaning my own accomplishments.

There are enough intellectuals out there in the world. Who can craft a cohesive argument and can use fancy words to describe a plant.
Does being the smartest in the world mean anything?

I am not saying that I'm not smart enough or that I'm not able. But I want to be my own individual and I want to grow at my own pace. I want to learn and to grow in places where I am passionate about.  I want to be able to grow in character and with a critical mind. And along the way I hope I can use what I obtained to help others.
So God, have your way on my life. Help me to grow intellectually with you. Teach me to think and learn in new ways. Make all those who may think their above me wonder why I have so much faith and why I am still so blessed. Be glorified Majesty. You're God all by yourself.

-Courage Man

Launching Out Into The Sea

Hi long time no see!
So far this semester has been really busy and def. a new season for me. There are a lot of old businesses that needs to be finished..and a lot of goals to accomplish. Must stay focus and keep pressing on.
But other than school, I have no complaints.
The title of this post was the theme to our Youth Banaza couple of weeks ago.
I thought how God is so real. He has been showing me how I need to let go of the shores and be bolder. And then the Youth Banaza themes came along. Confirmation much?

So far October break is coming in less than a week (YAY) but still there is work to be done. My chinese class has been a struggle for me and I have a test tomorrow...but I am not giving up without a fight!
I wanted to take this moment to write because there was this thought that kept coming up in my mind.

God has been showing me a lot about myself. Things I need to change and things about myself that I was not aware of before.
Glory to God.
One big thing I have been really learning to do is love. Loving your brothers, sisters, and others. This love has been occurring so much in the Word at church and also in my interaction with other people.
I thought before that this shouldnt be a hard task...I get along with a lot of people...I can say I'm genuine and nice. But the Lord has been showing the truth about my heart. Love is so hard...love is an action and sometimes I don't know how to express love and I don't know how to show affection. Most importantly, sometimes I just don't want to. And sometimes I'am selfish thinking only about myself and how I might get hurt in trying to love. I am scare to love. I do not want to be taken advantage of and be made a fool at the end of the day. But the Lord has been showing me to launch out into the sea...do it anyways even if it looks stupid...even if the other don't receive you.
I remember a sister said to me when I was going through to "kill them with kindness."
This certain person came to my mind today while I was on the train going back to school. Though it has been a few months now I can admit that I have recover from a lot of pain this person has caused me. But somehow while I was on the train the memories and what they did all start coming back...and I felt the same anger and betrayal I felt couple of months ago. But I had to stop myself...because I know...that I live for only God. I know that this time it is different...I am giving my all to Jesus. If I give Him my all no one can hurt me...and the things of the past is behind me.
I admit,
what this person has done...has made me feel unworthy. They made me feel like I was not worth it. I use to thought that because I was not pretty enough...or I was not this certain way..this is why they chose someone else over me.
But I am learning this moment that it was not because I wasn't worth it. But it wasnt because I wasnt good enough or that I'm not like so and so.
But there is so much more to life...there is so much more in me than I thought. How could I allow a person to tell me my worth and value...when God say that I was worth His every drop of blood? How could I allow someone to say I'm not worth it when I still have so much dreams and ambition I still havent fulfilled.
How can I allow other people gifts, abilities, and comment stop me in getting what God has in store for me?
How can I stop here?
I can't allow insecurities, anger, pain, and sadness to stop me in going where God is leading me this season. I refuse.

So whoever maybe reading this...to many young girls like me who think they aren't worth it. Check again. Who told you that? Who defines that?
As human and as for myself we look so much at the carnal things. I use to always look for approval and acceptance of other people. But in the end it only led me to disappointment. But with God who is my rock that I stand upon...never fails me. He never disappoints me. He is the same today and yesterday and He has never forsaken me.
I can't say it has been easy or it would get easier from here. But if God is for me who can come against me?
Jesus I am willing to be launch out into the sea. Teach me to love the way you have called me to love. Lord in the areas of my life where I am still scare to let go of the shore and allow you to have your way, help me. Give me the faith and strength to do so. Teach me to love God in ways that scares me. Take away every fear and pride that may be in me in doing what is right. But loosen humility in my life and to love those in my life who may be the hardest for me to love. I love you God, thank you for loving me first and being my foundation and being my comforter in my time of need. Thank you for your faithfulness and your grace that are new every morning. Have your way. In Jesus Name. Amen.

- Courage Man

Spontaneous Post

No matter what it looks like I am going to trust you. You're still able. God I want to be happy and I thank you for the joy that you have given me today. Help me to stay happy and do things that I really appreciate and value, and that it pleases you in your sight. Let me not fall to please men. Let me not fall into deception of the world's lie in telling me what will make me happy. Show me where true love and happiness lies. Help me to follow you all the way.
The road does not get any easier from here. The journey may be long and scary but I am willing to dream bigger today. I am willing to go higher and take that risk. Risking to fall and and to get some bruises here and there along the way...just to see your glory...just to see how God you are still able and to see you working in my life.
Father your will be done.

- Courage Man

Serenity

How many times have I tried to fill those emptiness with temporary and vain "things" thinking truly that must be what happiness is. To have good grades and great friends. Dressing a certain way, having a boyfriend, having a guy compliment me on how I look, seeking a pat on the back from a Professor/teacher to tell me I am a great student. How many times have I tried to be someone that I was not? Someone I thought I was supposed to be. Someone I thought the world and the people around me expected me to be.

How many times have I tried and failed?
How many times did these "things" really satisfy me?
How many times were people truly there for me?...How many times have I sought the wrong people to fill those gaps.
I tried to fill those emptiness with THINGS that could disintegrate. In the end...it wasn't empty anymore but it was overflowing with pain, insecurities, failure, and disappointments.

Lord help me to live for only you. Lord, my education can never filled me with the satisfaction and joy that I have in you..in knowing you. Father help me to not put a cap on your power, your grace, and your love. I know that you can do all things. Though I may not be where I want to be...I may not know what kind of daughter and person you called me to be..but I know I am on the right path in finding those answers. Through my wilderness you are still able. Even when I feel like I have nothing...no abilities, no friends, no hope...in the end you still remain. And having you is more than enough. Jesus I just thank you today for the breath in my lungs...and just for who you're. Lord, I have no fancy words and I am nobody special...but showed me that I, Mandy Lam was worth your blood...prove to me that I was someone worth dying for. Jesus if I was worth that much to you...show me how that value cannot be calculated or comparable to this world, to this school, to people. I am who I am...greater is He that is in me, than he/she that is in the world. Greater is He that is in me than what I see and know. Father help me to fall more in love with you and know through the trials, tribulation, stress, pain, storms, God you are still able. You are still in control. Help me today to never put a cap on you. Help my unbelief to believe today. I'm sorry for filling those places in my life with temporariness...I'm sorry for replacing you with my own idols, dreams, and ideas. But God...I surrender all. I surrender. I surrender Jesus. I surrender. I surrender. I surrender. I surrender. I surrender Jesus. I surrender. I surrender. I surrender...even if its going to cost me....even if its going to hurt...even if that means I'm going to have to be humiliated/persecuted/cast down..I surrender to you Jesus because what you have is far far far better than where I am now and what I have. I'm not perfect but I serve a perfect God. I am going to be true to myself and be real with you God. Break every chain and deliver me. I love you, have your way only you can. In Jesus Name, Amen. 

- Courage Man

God if you say I can make it I'am running to the finish line!

- Courage Man

Turning Over a New Leaf Pt.2

"Disturb us, Lord, when 

We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future In strength, courage, hope, and love."

Sir Francis Drake, 1577

- Courage Man

1. Spiritual Gifts
2. Your Heart
3. Abilities
4. Personality
5. Experiences

You Will Make It. Challenge Accepted.

I am more than what my studies say about me. I am more than what my GPA defines of me. I am more than what the professor sees in me. I am more than just a student at this college. I am worth it. I am creative. I am more and better.

Reminder: Don't get caught up with just the culture here. Stay true and enjoy yourself. Have fun!


Put God first.

- Courage Man

It's Not Over

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
                                                                                                           2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NIV)

                                                                                                                          
- Courage Man

Turning Over a New Leaf

I am going to do things differently this year. No matter how it looks like I am going to trust God. I will continue this journey...this path with Him. I'll trust Him all the way.
I am excited in what this academic year have in store.
I want to be a stronger christian.
A better student.
But all of those are ideal images of myself. I must make sure that through everything I must seek Him first and ask God for His will to be done in my life. This school year I have to learn how to please God while working, studying, laughing, and playing.
Lord, give me the mind of Jesus today.
A group of my friends were in someone's room and we were just talking about how we all don't know what we're going to major in. How it going to be hard to find a job after we graduate. How this school doesnt give equal opportunities to everyone and that it is all based on bias and favoritism.
Talking and listening to this conversation can make one really discourage about their future and where they're going in life. But I refuse to be worry or scare.
I must keep my eyes on Him to the finish line. I am going to be more bolder for God. I will take more risk trusting God. I'll allow Him to take me out of my comfort zones to bring me somewhere new. I will let Him guide me. I will pray for direction. In everything that I do I must PRAY PRAY PRAY! I will praise/pray/worship my way through the trials. I trust Him.

I don't care how it looks right this moment. I don't care how some may be ahead of me. God knows every step that I am going to take. "But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." 1 Corinithians 2:9

Stay encourage and don't lose faith (don't lose heart). Pray without ceasing.

- Courage Man

Set Me Free

Dear God,
It just feel like sometimes pain after pain keep piling up in my life and on my heart. It feels like more problems come ahead before the old ones are even resolved. It feels like sometimes that everyone around me are moving forward and moving way ahead of me. It makes me feel nervous.  I think about the people that I loved who has hurt me. I feel betrayed, abandoned, angry, hurt, and most especially frustrated. I feel frustrated because all I see is what is in front of me. I feel frustrated because I feel like I deserve better sometimes. I am mad because I just don't know how to get out. Father, what do I do? God what can I do? Where can I go? Who do I lean on? Sometimes it feel like my world is falling apart. Sometimes I can't help feeling how unfair life could be. I can't help feeling how some people could just move on with their lives and leaving me in the dust. How could I be so unimportant to people who I cherished as friends? I don't know Jesus. I just don't know.
But Lord despite all my uncertainty..despite all my anger. I don't know why I still have so much hope. I don't know why despite all my pain I know God you still love me. Despite of everything God you still remain. Even in my darkest times...even in my lowest God..I don't know why I still believe in you. God you're what I hold on to when I am losing my mind. You're what I hold on to when there is nothing else to hold on to. You're everything Jesus. Even though it is hard to see it sometimes...it is hard to feel you sometimes Jesus...I don't know why I still know God that you're not done and that you will make a way out of no way.
Even on the days where I feel like nothing, I can hear the Holy Ghost telling me that I am something.
When I am angry...you calm the storm in me.
When I feel hopeless...Jesus...you give me the mind to seek you.
I just don't know why.
God I believed that the reason why I am going through what I am going through and I can't get deliverance or a breakthrough must be because I keep falling in the same place...and that I am not CHANGEABLE. So I will be forever stuck. But God help me to trust that everything is going according to your plan as long as I keep following you. Jesus I will follow you all the way. Even if everyone turns their back on me. Help me to not be dramatic, sensitive, or be easily offended. But help me to love unconditionally like you. I love you today Jesus. I need more of you in my life and less of me.
God forgive me today for my thoughts and my behaviors that are not like you. Renew my heart, mind, and soul back to you.
You will be blessed me wherever I go and whatever I need. Education, relationships/friends, family, career, salvation, my identity. Have you way today Jesus. It is not over today. You're for me.
I remember a sister said at church a story of Joshua, You promised that there is a blessing behind that wall, no one believed because of what they saw. They said it was impossible. It was too big and it was too much..there was no way they can conquer and get through it. But Joshua step back and he saw what was BEHIND the wall and I walked around it 7 times. He believed and Lord you blessed Him with more than he expected or imagined.
So God help me to step back today and keep my eyes on the reward and on your promises. Whatever you have for me is for me today.
My deliverance, my restoration, my prosperity is over those walls. I am going and I am not stopping. I am going all the way.
Integrity. Faith. Strength. Hard Work. Love. Hope. Joy.
I love you I love you I love you. Thank you Father today just for who you're. I love you so much. There is no one else like you.
Satan is defeated. Open my eyes to see the truth and not be deceived. Take away any envy and anger that may be in me...cleanse me with your blood and create in me a clean heart. :)

Love your daughter,
Mandy Lam

The Real Me

I know I was suppose to write a post everyday this week but I have fell into my own flesh and ignored what I have promised myself. Each day we have training from 9 am-10 pm...by the time I get back to my room..I am just exhausted....(I fell asleep reading my bible last night.)

I didn't really want to post tonight because I am just not in the mood and struggling with some personal stuff..but I am forcing myself because I know there are some thoughts that needs to be release here.
I don't even know where to start how this week has been. It has been amazing because I have met so many new people; I have learned so much about myself and I have learned so many new skills. I thank God for giving me this opportunity to be part of MPE because I didn't want to do the training at first because I didn't want to come back to Holy Cross so early. But thank goodness I didn't do what I wanted.
Though it has been amazing...I have also been battling with somethings...somethings that are still not resolve from last semester.
My mind.
I think about EVERYTHING. Yes, that is why we all have a mind to THINK. But you know how some people say don't abuse the power that you have? Well I abuse my mind.
I think to the point where it is unnecessary...where I bring myself to a place of confusion, sadness, and hopelessness. I refuse to stay this way. I need the Lord to renew my mind.
I need the Lord to fix me.
I need the Lord to open my eyes and show me the truth.
I realized this week that there are times where I acted in a certain way that I felt like it was not godly or right. And the sad thing is as human's we want to fit in. We want to be accepted. We want to be acknowledge. Even when we tell ourselves that, "I am going to be me." We subconsciously want the attention and there are reasons why we act a certain way...to get the reaction we want.
If you have been in my mind...you would know how foolish I have been...because as I am sitting here right now at this desk...I am just thinking...you're stronger than this.
When I looked at some people I could not help but compare myself...
I could not help to think how people really think about me...how I am not this...and not that.
I get to the point where I isolate myself.
How silly was I?
(The need of prayer came over me again as I was writing)
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Lord, I come to you as humbly as I know how. Help to stay strong in you and know God I am stronger than I think...through you I can do anything. I am strong. I am strong Jesus with you. Help me to never to accept the enemy's lie for the truth. Help me to never sell myself out. Help me to stay true to myself and what I believe in. Even if that means that I have to do it all by myself. Even when I have to stand alone. Help me to stay true to who I am...to stay true in you. Jesus I know that you didn't call me to be alone but you already have the people you have assigned to my life in place...and that I don't have to worry who comes in or out of my life...who will accept me...who will see the real me...because everything is in place...you're in control Jesus. I am never alone. I have the right friends today. I have you Jesus. You alone are enough because you alone have all that I need. I love you today Jesus. I want to love you even more. Help me to be real and be who you call me to be. I bind comparison. I bind hopelessness. In you there is life. In you I have joy. No one can take me away from you. Nobody's lifestyle can convince me that I need to change mine. Because I know God where you have bought me out. I know God if it wasnt for you Lord I wouldnt be where I am. And even though sometimes when I look at my life and I feel like I have nothing. Nothing worth to share...just nothing. God I know you have SOMETHING for me. This SOMETHING is so much better than I can ever imagine. God help me to stick to the truth. God I really need you to help me to stay strong no matter what. Help me to rejoice no matter what. Loosen your understanding and wisdom in my life. Give me peace. Lord I remember when I came back to Holy Cross on Saturday..I made up my mind that I am ready. I was ready for this new school year...and I was ready for the new challenges ahead. This is just the first one out of all the other ones. You never said it would be easy. You never said it would be painless. But you promise God that you will never forsake me and you will be there right next to me every step of the way. So help me Jesus to trust you with all my heart. Help me to work hard and labor in you. Help me to suffer in you and know there is an award. If I have to be lonely, I ask that the Holy Ghost be my comfort, my strength, and my faith. God renew my mind and my walk with you. Guide me every step of the way. Send down your anointing and our direction/instructions today God. Help me to seek your light in my time of darkness. Let me not be deceive by this world and by people. Let me not lust after this world but I ask for more of you in my life. I love you Jesus. I am strong. I am strong. I am strong. Through you I can do all things. I love you God, you're my way maker. 
In Jesus Name, Amen. 

Break every chain. Break every yoke.

- Courage Man

P.S.
In you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse. Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. ~ Psalm 25:2-3-6

But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me. ~ Micah 7

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~ 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. ~ Hebrews 10:23 

How It Should Be

This is what I am trying to become:

I Went on a Search to Become a Leader

---Anonymous---

 (as it should be...)

I went on a search to become a leader. I searched high and low.

I spoke with authority; people listened.  But alas, there was one who was

wiser than I, and they followed that individual.

I sought to inspire confidence, but the crowd responded, "Why should I trust

you?"  I postured, and I assumed that look of leadership with a countenance

that flowed with confidence and pride, but many passed me by and never

noticed my air of elegance.

I ran ahead of the others, pointed the way to new heights.  I demonstrated

that I knew the route to greatness.  And then I looked back, and I was alone.

"What shall I do?" I queried.  "I've tried hard and used all that I know."  And

I sat down and pondered long.

And then, I listened to the voices around me.  And I heard what the group

was trying to accomplish.  I rolled up my sleeves and joined in the work.

As we worked, I asked, "Are we all together in what we want to do and how

to get the job done?"  And we thought together, and we fought together, and

we struggled towards our goal.

I found myself encouraging the fainthearted.  I sought ideas of those too shy

to speak out.  I taught those who had little skill.  I praised those who worked

hard.  When our task was completed, one of the group turned to me and said,

"This would not have been done but for your leadership."

At first, I said, "I didn't lead.  I just worked like the rest."  And then I

understood, leadership is not a goal.  It's a way to reaching a goal.

I lead best when I help others to go where we've decided to go.  I lead best

when I help others to use themselves creatively.  I lead best when I forget

about myself as leader and focus on my group...their needs and their goals.

To lead is to serve...to give...to achieve together.

- Courage Man

To Risk

Before we were dismissed today, the director of MPE read to us a poem and I thought it was so beautiful.
Had to share it on my blog!

"To Risk"

by William Arthur Ward


To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out to another is to risk involvement,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To live is to risk dying,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow,
But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.

Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.

The pessimist complains about the wind;

The optimist expects it to change;


And the realist adjusts the sails.

- Courage Man

Mi Vida (Love, Friends, Me)

Day 2 at Holy Cross..
...Day 1 of MPE training. Exhausted but learned a lot and really enjoyed my time. Despite the fact that I missed church :(. But I don't think I have the energy to continue writing...so for now good night. I have so much on my mind and so much to say about these last few days. God is good. 

- Courage Man

Hi, I'm a Blogger.

I feel the need to go on another fast in blogging everyday for the next week. It should be interesting since I am moving back to Holy Cross in less than 24 hours for MPE training.
May God keep reigning in my life and be with me wherever I am.

- Courage Man

I Love You God.

Since the last time I have blogged..my summer has taken an interesting turn. A very wide and rocky turn, to be exact.
I am moving back to school in one day, so these last 16 days been work, church, and seeing a LOT of people. I been so caught up in some moments that my prayer life, I must admit, has been unstable.
I must also admit that these last 16 days I have done things that I was not proud of. I have fell into the most ridiculous places. Fell into a temp infatuation with a boy. Have still yet packed for Holy Cross....
Couple of hours ago I was overwhelmed, sad, stress, and broken.
I knew the Holy Ghost was telling me to pray and to talk to the Lord.
But all I wanted to do was dwell in the situation and be angry with myself. But I thank God for His mercy and for giving me the mind to open my bible to Psalm 69. After I finish reading it...I was led to my prayer alter in my closet and on my knees once again...crying out to God.
Through my tears and my prayer...I found my desire for God once again...I mean for ONLY God.
To fall more in love with Him than anyone one/friend/or boy.
When you call out His name from your heart and from the depth of your soul...somehow everything fades away. The pain...the circumstances...the mistakes...the people...nothing else matter anymore at that moment..but being with God...praising His name...thanking Him...making your request known to Him...allowing Him to listen to your heart....listen to your request through the Hallelujahs and Thank You Jesus. He hears what you need in between the breaths that you take from calling His name.
I believe and I know...no matter where I am...how I fell...what I did...God is able to still pick me back up. God still loves me..and it is not over. If anything He can use the circumstances and the failures to glorify Himself...to lead you into a bigger blessing.
I am aware also that the Enemy attempts to take advantage of those times to hinder my relationship with God. But you must hold on and put on the whole armor of God. Nothing can take me away from Jesus. He is for me. He is mine. The Blood of Jesus against the lies, deceptions, and the traps. The Blood of Jesus against Satan.
As I was praying...God placed two passages in my heart/mind:

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace. Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth BOLDLY, to make known the mystery of the gospel. 
                                                                                                Ephesians 6:10-19

Brethen, I count not myself to have apprehended; but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before. I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore as many as be perfect be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.
                                                                                               Philippians 3:13-15

God is so merciful and He is able to do all things. I will keep my eyes on Him and on the prize. Keep fighting, persevere, and I will press my way through this season. Stay encourage.
I love Him so much.

- Courage Man

x/3

This summer would not be ranked as the top 5 best summer experience of anybody's list. But truly this summer was def. a time to reflect and grow closer to God.

As I am writing this blogpost in the kitchen, my sister is in her room watching the Ellen Degeneres Show and my mom is in the living room catching up with her chinese dramas.

It hurts me because no matter how close my family may be, there seem to be a division.
We're so use to doing our own thing and I understand that you can't expect us to spend every moment together...I mean we already live in the same house for 10+ years! We're comfortable and we're use to it.

I hate the reference, YOLO (you only live once) but at the sametime it is true. We only live once...and before I die and go to heaven I don't want to live with any regret that I didnt spend enough time with my family.
God forbid...I don't want to lose a immediate family member thinking about all the things we could've done together.

I feel so heavy and hurt how I treated my family. I admit, I always put them second. I always placed friends and other things before them and I thank God for a family that doesnt hold it against me. But I am holding it against myself right now.
I thought about my high school graduation how instead of going out to eat with my family after the ceremony. I decided to celebrate it with my church family...it may not seem wrong but when I look back at it...I just think, "WHO DOES THAT!?" Who just ditches their family?
This moment is one out of so many times I have done this to my family. Placing their needs and their times after everyone else.
I am sorry that it took me 19 years to realize how important family is. And how I may be a horrible sister/daughter. But I just pray God will change me to be a more loving sister and a more obedient daughter that honors my parents. Pray God will change the dynamic of my family and bring us closer.

I want to be able to love them and spend as much time as I can with them on this earth before we're all gone.

 I love my family so much. And if anyone knows the real me...it would be them. They had to go through all my wrath and shortcomings...they had to suffer the consequences with the mistakes that I have made. I thank God that despite of who I am and everything that have happened that they stayed by my side and supported me in everything that I do. We may not be a perfect family or the Brady Bunch but I am forever grateful. It may sound cliche but there are some people who don't have a family...who never experience that familial love. Those who grew up without a father, a mother, or both. I'm just glad what God has given me and I just pray that He will have His way on my family. I lay it all in my Father's hand. 

- Courage Man

The Simple Things in Life.

I was ironing a shirt that I am going to wear tomorrow (or today) for church. I am still pretty new to this ironing thing! This is what college does to you...it changes you slowly...forcing you to learn new basic skills in life. I was having some troubles with the sleeves so I asked my mom for help.
She showed me how to do the sleeves and looked at the shirt and decided to RE-IRON the whole shirt in the end. I told her she didnt have to but she said she already started...so why not.
As I am watching her iron my shirt and complaining how tired she is because she was working in the garden all day. I just thought about such an amazing love and how blessed am I to have parents that cares so much about me.
I thank God for all that He have done.
I just looked at my mom and thought....nothing else matters but this moment.

- Courage Man

Changing Sceneries

Going into my sophomore year of college there are somethings I realize: time is going by fast and not only that but even things are changing rapidly.

I was going through a teacher/mentor's blog post from a few years ago when she still taught at JQUS.
I just thought how much things have changed since then.
She just recently had a baby and started her own family.
I, on the other hand am also not the same Courage Man as I was 3 years ago.
I am no longer a high school student. No longer wrestling with the same situations I was 3 years ago.
Though the bond between my mentor and I will always be there but the relationship we have as mentor/mentees/friends are certainty not like how it use to be due to the circumstances and our different paths in life.
I thought also deeper into my past to another mentor that helped me to become the person that I am today.
He is now a headmaster at Watertown. I thought for old time sake I emailed him to see how he's been doing. Still no response from him though I see him on fb all the time! But I am not offended and I understand that he has a family and a life to live than entertaining an ex student.
The funny thing is how both of my beloved mentors left the school (and my life) the same year. (Junior year)
I found myself having no one to lean on during my senior year. It was hard, I admit. There were times where I was struggling and I had no one to turn to for advice or guidance.
I can't blame God for depriving me of good influences in my life. But I do admit that there were times I wonder why God did that. Did God place them in my life in my time of need then think I am ready to go solo? Did I fail to recognize new mentors He was trying to place in my life? I don't know.
What I do know is God still never failed me.
And after these wonderful people slowly start drifting away from my life, I learned instead of learning about life and my spirituality from these wonderful mentors...I had to go discover it myself.
I had to go out and learned to fall and pick myself back up with the help of God.
I had to learn to solely lean on Jesus in my time of need. Instead of running to one of them for advice or for comfort...I learned to find rest in Him.
I learn ALSO from my SAD SAD mistakes that I made.
I can't say the journey has been easy, most of the time it have been bittersweet. But I won't exchange my experience, my downfalls, my joy, or my discoveries for any other paths...because this is the road God has planned for me to walk. And I will continue to walk in confidence through the valleys, wilderness, deserts until I finally reach my destination...until I walk into my blessings.
I have to admit there were times I was frustrated with God because Pastor always reminded us that we need mentors in our lives to help us and that was the only way we learn (mistakes and mentors).
And I was frustrated with God and myself because I felt like I didnt have any mentors ever since the ones I did have left.
But I learned also that my ways are not God's way. I was too ignorant, stubborn and prideful to discern or appreciate the people/teachers He place in my life to help me grow. Not every mentor and person He sends in my life will I get along with but through them is where I can learn the biggest lessons.
Ever since I realize that, it became my biggest regret as a first year student at Holy Cross. There was this professor I had that I couldn't stand. Honestly I still think she is crazy in someways but when I look back now all the things she accused me of in my papers and as a person... it was true in some ways and she was right. I wish I had the humility before to accept what she said instead of going back to my room and vent to my roommate and friends. And still didn't change my ways.
But I thank God for second chances and for new opportunities.

God help me please as I enter my second year at Holy Cross. I ask that you will help me to do things differently this year. Change my behavior and how I approach people and situations that comes about. Help me to be more open minded about people who may be different from me. Help me to not come quickly to a conclusion about myself, about people, or about the circumstances but help me to search deeper... God I thank you for your mercy that keeps me...I ask you to give me the spirit of humility to be taught and chastised. I ask that you may give me a teachable spirit so that I can be mold and shape by the people you have place in my life to bless me. Bless me with new mentors in my life that will help me along the way. Help me also to recognize them. Lord I love you and I thank you for never forsaking me despite of who I am. I ask you to keep me on this journey with you...bless me in areas that I may be broken in. Give me more joy, love, friends, and a positive attitude. Deliver me from my strongholds and insecurities. Everything that I may be withholding from you Jesus, show me. So that I may be able to surrender my all to you once again. Jesus I know as long as I live this will be a cycle and a process. Like the Desert Song said..."I know I'm filled to be emptied again...The seed I've received I will sow."
I am trying to learn more about myself and who I am in you. I am trying to learn how to please you. I am learning to love you more than I did last year. I am learning to diligently seek you in everything. God every worry that I have about my future...about what is coming ahead help me to trust you and give me the wisdom that I need to make the right choices and do the right thing that glorifies you. I need your wisdom today.
In Jesus Name, Amen.

- Courage Man

Love

Long ago during my freshman year we read The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo. I thought it was such an amazing book and I attempted to read another book by him but I somehow I was not driven to finish it.
I decided to spend my day at the library today and rediscover Paulo Coehlo books! I have been reading C.S. Lewis's book, The Screwtape Letter and I wanted another book that will inspire me as a christian.
I never knew Paulo Coelho believed in God and when I went into his aisle in the fiction section of the library.
I picked up a book, By The River Of Piedra I Sat Down and Wept, that spoke out to me! It was like if he had intentionally written this book about MY LIFE. The protagonist was a girl who is independent & practical yet restless young woman who is in college and searching for a greater meaning for her life. She falls in love and gets her heart broken, she is scare to suffer...but along the way she discover what is love..which is God.
That is only a combination of the preview that was written for the book and what I have read so far.
I am half way done but this book blows my mind. The protagonist reminds me so much of myself. She is practical, her only focus was school, she guards all her emotions not allowing anyone in, she has been hurt and scare to allow that to happen again. So has so many questions but yet have no answers or directions.
I usually don't like to read introductions. But Paulo Coelho is a GIFTED WRITER. His introduction gave me goosebumps, it made my heart race, and it made me want to breakdown. Everything he said in his introduction was all the answers I been trying to unravel.
His introduction talked about how love was the most important thing in our spiritual walk with God. :
"But ultimately there is no good reason for our suffering, for in every love lies the seed of our growth. The more we love, the closer we come to spiritual experience. Those who are truly enlightened, those whose souls are illuminated by love, have been able to overcome all of the inhibitions and preconceptions of their era. They have been able to sing, to laugh, and to pray out loud; they have danced...They have been joyful - because those who love conquer the world and have no fear of loss. True love is an act of total surrender...To love is to be in communion with the other and to discover in that other the spark of God."

Sorry the need of a prayer came through after I quoted Coelho.

Lord help me to encounter your sweet and miraculous love for me each and everyday. Let it be reflected with the people I come encounter with everyday weather it is the coworkers I work with, friends that I may not be close to, or just my family members. I want to love COURAGEOUSLY and boldly with no fear of being let down...with no fear of being taken advantage love because great is HE that lives within me. God you're love and everything wrap into one. Love begins and end with you. I am able to love because you have loved me first. I am able to love because love bare all things...because love was the cross where you died for me. God there is no fear in true love. If true love is an act of total surrender well God I surrender everything to you! I surrender my broken heart and my dreams for the exchange of your glorious love. Your love keeps me...help me when I am in my lowest...in my family...in my education...in my relationships... and in my spirit God remind me and SHOW me your love. Guilt can't break true love. Shame can't break true love. Mistakes can't break true love. Brokenness can't break true love...if anything God all these elements only brings me closer to you.  I use to think that I was in love with this certain person but I was foolish to forget that love begins with you God. If a guy can't find my way to my heart through you...if he is not like what Coelho said, "to discover in the spark of God" if I can't find God in him, if he can't draw me closer to you and if he can't help me to fall MORE in love with you God. Then I don't want it. I don't want him. I want what you have ordained. I want God holiness. I want God for you to be the center of my joy in a real relationship. Lord I ask you today to forgive me for who I am. For the way I try to seek others in my weakness. For the way I rebel against you. For the way I over-think and I allow my emotion to get the better of me. For all that I am...I ask you Jesus to forgive me and wrap me in your love. An outpour of your spirit, anointing, and your incredible love...so I may love you even more. So I may love others courageously and boldly with no fear. God help me to be meek because love don't always have to be loud. Help me to love through my actions and through the simplest things...a smile...a gesture...or serving. Help me to be patient with people who easily gets on my nerve. I bind every spirit that are not of you. The Blood of Jesus. I come against Satan's lies. The Blood of Jesus against him. God thank you.
In Jesus Name, Amen.

--------
I did not intend for a prayer to be written but I was draw to do so. I did not intend for this post to turn out like this. There was so much other things I wanted to write about the book, about my life, and about love...but I feel like the prayer said what it needed to be said. So on that note.
Have a blessed night to my nonexistent readers. :)
May God's love overpowers you and inundate your soul whoever read this post.

- Courage Man

Powerful Story

A powerful story I found as I was spending some time with the word.

Jesus Is in the House

Once there was this very wealthy young man. He lived in a great, elaborate house with dozens of rooms. Each room was more comfortable and more beautiful than the one before it. There were paintings and sculptures. Crystal chandeliers, golden ornate railings on the stairs. More beauty than most have ever seen. One day he decided to invite the Lord to come home and stay with him. When the Lord arrived, this young man offered him the very best room in the house.

The room was upstairs and at the end of the hall. This room is yours, Jesus! Stay as long as you like and you can do whatever you want to in this room, remember Jesus, its all yours.” That evening after he had retired for the night there came a loud knocking at the front door. The young man put on his robe and made his way downstairs. When he opened the door he found that the devil had sent three of his demons to attack the man. He quickly tried to close the door but one of the demons kept sticking his foot in.
Sometime later, after a great struggle, he managed to slam the door shut and returned to his room totally exhausted.

Can you believe that,” the man thought. Jesus is upstairs in my very best room sleeping while I am down here battling demons. Oh, well, maybe he just didn’t hear. He slept fitfully that night. The next day things went along as normal and, being tired as he was, the young man retired early that evening. Along about midnight, there came such a terrible ruckus at the front door that the young man was sure that whatever it was would tear the door down. He stumbled down the stairs once again and opened the door to find there were dozens of demons now trying to get into his beautiful home.

For more than three hours he fought and struggled against the demons from hell, and finally overtook them enough to shut the door against their attack. All energy seemed to fail him. He really didn’t understand this at all. Why won’t the Lord come to my rescue? Why does he allow me to fight all by myself? I feel so alone. Troubled, he found his way to the sofa and fell into a restless sleep.

The next morning he decided to inquire of the Lord about the happenings of the last two evenings. Quietly he made his way to the elegant bedroom where he had left Jesus. “Jesus,” he called as he tapped at the door. “Lord, I don’t understand what is happening. For the last two nights I have had to fight the demons away from my door while you laid up here sleeping. Don’t you care about me? Did I not give you the very best room in the house?” He
could see the tears building in Jesus’ eyes but continued on, “I just don’t understand, I really thought that once I invited you in to live with me that you would take care of me and I gave you the best room in my house and everything. What more can I do?”

“My precious child,” Jesus spoke so softly. “I do love and care for you. I protect all that you have released into my care. But, when you invited me to come here and stay, you brought me to this lovely room and you shut the door to the rest of your house. I am Lord of this room but I am not Master of this house. I have protected this room and no demon may enter here.”

“Oh, Lord, please forgive me. Take all of my house — it is yours. I am so sorry that I never offered you all to begin with. I want you to have control of everything.” With this he flung open the bedroom door and knelt at Jesus’ feet. “Please forgive me Lord for being so selfish.” Jesus smiled and told him that He had already forgiven him and that He would take care of things from now on.

That night as the young man prepared for bed, he thought “I wonder if those demons will return, I am so tired of fighting them each and every night”. But, he knew that Jesus said that he would take care of things from now on. Along about midnight the banging on the door was frightening. The young man slipped out of his room in time to see Jesus going down the stairs. He watched in awe as Jesus swung open the door, no need to be afraid. Satan stood at the door, this time demanding to be let in. “What do you want, Satan?” the Lord asked. The devil bowed low in the presence of the Lord, “So sorry, I seem to have gotten the wrong address.” And with that, he and the demons all ran away.

Author Unknown

http://www.lorilaws.net/2012/07/jesus-is-in-the-house-2/

- Courage Man

My Mentor C.S. Lewis

There is something about this man...his biography..his work...and his advice all speaks out to me.
So here is an article I found on C.S. Lewis's 8 Writing Tips advice to a schoolgirl.

8 Writing Tips from C.S. Lewis

by DONALD L. HUGHES

In 1959 an American schoolgirl wrote to C. S. Lewis asking him for advice on the craft of writing. He sent her a list of eight rules, and I add my own editorial comments to each of them.

1. Turn off the radio.

Today, writers also need to turn off the TV, the iPod or the music streaming over the Internet. I know that some writers claim that background  sounds enhances their creativity, but I don’t believe it for a minute, and apparently Lewis didn’t either. Writing is a solitary activity, where words are formed in a special space of the brain, and anything that competes for that space will result in a decrease in writing quality. Good writers are able to be alone with their thoughts and don’t need filler or distractions.

2. Read good books and avoid most magazines.

If you’re interested in writing good books then you need to read good books. Feed your mind with quality material and you will be more likely to be able to reproduce it. It is very difficult to find good Christian writing today; top selling books like The Shack are inferior in literary quality, so writers end up being torn between producing something good or something that sells well. Ideally, you will want to write something of literary quality that will be popular, and a path to that goal is reading quality books.  Style is important and it is best absorbed though books that have stood the test of time. The writings of C.S. Lewis are a good place to begin reading.

3. Write with the ear, not the eye. Make every sentence sound good.

This is Lewis’ most important rule in my view. There is a cadence to good writing and it is important that you discover it for yourself. This, of course, is another good reason for shutting off the radio, TV or music as you write. Experienced writers know that all sentences do not sound good in the beginning. It is best to get thoughts on paper first and then come back to the draft and tune each sentence.

4. Write only about things that interest you. If you have no interests, you won’t ever be a writer.

There is genius in these words. Too many Christian writers compose their literary work out of a sense of divine obligation, a quest for profit or a deadline–rather than pure godly passion.  Obligation, profit or a deadline often debase passion, but of course it is nice when all three elements can be combined. Sacrifice them all if you must–except for your passion for those things which interest.

5. Be clear. Remember that readers can’t know your mind. Don’t forget to tell them exactly what they need to know to understand you.

In all my teaching and conference work, I emphasize clarity above all things to embryonic writers. There is a direct connection between clarity, elegance and quality in writing, so clarity is always the first goal.

6. Save odds and ends of writing attempts, because you may be able to use them later.

Everything is made out of something. That’s why it is so important for writers to keep a journal.  It is easy to forget thoughts, story ideas, snippets of conversations, events and experiences, so a journal is essential. Most writers have writing fragments–false starts, incomplete manuscripts or unsuccessful submissions–and Lewis is reminding us to save all these things and to use them as resources for other writing projects. I have so many odds and ends of writing that I store them in large plastic bins from Wal-Mart. This article was written from a fragment I first put in my file in 1997.

7. You need a well-trained sense of word-rhythm, and the noise of a typewriter will interfere.

Lewis emphasizes the importance of the cadence of the words again here, and it is a point well taken. Of all his suggestions, however, this one is perhaps the most outdated. Computer keyboards are far quieter than the clickity-clack of old typewriters.  I use many different methods to get my thoughts on paper, but when I want to do my best work I always revert to writing in longhand on yellow legal pads. I think C.S. Lewis probably smiles on those who connect the mind and the hand to the written word in such an elemental way. That’s the way he did it and he came up with some pretty good books.

8. Know the meaning of every word you use.

Make a hobby us learning new words and using them in your writing. The purpose is not to be circumlocutious, but to be able to communicate aptly. A wide vocabulary adds substance to your writing. Some writers use words with which they have only glancing familiarity. Be sure you completely understand the meaning of every word you use. A fat dictionary is a good thing for a writer to own, but for efficiency you may wish to type this into the Google search box– define: circumlocution — in just that format. You will get the definition for any word you input after the colon.

Writing is a craft. You start as a novice before you become an apprentice and then develop into a master like C.S. Lewis.  Since writing is a craft, not a gift, virtually anyone can acquire the skill and become a master over time. Remember, however, that the time must be invested in actually writing (not thinking about writing) and in reading the work of those who have mastered the craft.

http://www.christianwritingtoday.com/2010/04/7-writing-tips-from-c-s-lewis/

- Courage Man

Faith

I know this season God is requiring more of me. More of my time, submission, prayer, and effort.
There been too many preaching and Sunday Schools that are related to working hard, change and transformation for me to be comfortable in my ways.
I found myself even outside of church uncomfortable with the lifestyle that I am living now.
I want to know my purpose. Because I believe my purpose is more than just sitting around the house waiting for school to begin. I believe my purpose is bigger than the minimum wage job I started today. I even believe that my purpose don't begin when school starts but I can be closer to my purpose TODAY if only I change.
After our miracle prayer today, Pastor came by to talk to us and he said so many things that addressed to my life ( I know it wasnt only for me though) and it cut me.
He talked about was how the reason why we don't see any differences in some areas in our lives since we been saved is because we have not been taught in the spirit.
All the places where there are no growth in our lives may be the hinderance to why we can't be a witness. Also how you can't accept everything that happens in your life, you have to change. Change is not only for our own benefit but it is the key to touch other people lives. Because if we have no victory how can we help others?
There are so many areas in my life that I am honestly not satisfied with but I heard the Pastor said today that God gives us the anointing to change.
I heard in Sunday School on Sunday to stop thinking you're weak and to stop thinking that it is impossible. To stop playing and learn to let go.

I know that I'm not the only one at church who have had these thoughts after the teachings. What do I need to let go? What needs to be change? What habit? What people? What thing?
And all those questions can only be answer in prayer and learning to humble ourselves.

I use to think that faith means to believe in the unseen..and to be still and let God have His way knowing He will make a way somehow. But the more I walk with God I learned that faith without work is dead. So then I believed that whatever I do...if I apply to this program..to this school..I have faith in God will make a way if it is in His will.
All that is true.
But tonight I learned that faith also means to not know. To step in the unknown. God is not asking me to be still this season and wait on Him to bless me. But He is requiring me to work for my blessing...work for my deliverance...work for my fruit. It is not the same also as, "OK LORD I'm going to do this and see if this is in your will..." No. God is not asking me to walk aimlessly. But He is requiring me to really search myself...to have faith in opening some doors in my life that I am scare to face. To change in places where I am scare to change...and worry that I may fail in the process of changing.
It is stepping into the unknown and presenting myself to God and say, "Here you go God...I give myself away...every fear...failure...mistake..past...here it is. ALL OF IT. I'm ready for the surgery. I'm ready for the transformation."
Pastor said today...that when you're comfortable where you're and you think you know God that is where you're not like God. We can never be God. But when we come with a mindset saying I just don't know that is when we're like God. And it is ironic.
I admit that I found myself sometimes prideful and in false humility. Because I thought I knew what I was doing...I thought I had such a GREAT relationship with God...when in reality it is His mercy that keeps me. If it wasnt for His love, mercy, grace that kept me I wouldn't be where I am now. It has nothing to do with me! It had nothing to do with my human integrity or character. People tell me that I am very faithful. No it was all God. God was and STILL is faithful to me...and I am forever in debt for such an amazing love. I can never repay for all the wonderful things He has done for me.

I can't imagine a life without Him. I don't know how to live without Him.
And I don't want to live in the same issues that I am dealing with right now. I must change.
How?
I don't know. But I have faith in God. That He is powerful enough to transform me. And the devil is a liar for trying to convince me that I am going to be stuck in the same habits and strongholds forever. LIES.
There are going to be new challenges along the journey. But that is good news. It is evidence of growth.

- Courage Man